Journey of Loss & Recovery
On a Saturday afternoon, my world turned upside down. I returned home only to find my beloved baby gone. At 9 years old, she had never been missing or out on her own, anywhere. She is a small 8lb 'house dog', I have been her mommy since she was 2 months old - we have never been apart.
At first, I thought she was busy 'napping' and she didn't hear mommy come home. I went into the bedroom where I expected to find her sprawled out in the middle of mommy's bed (one of her favorite spots) with her tail wagging side to side as she lay on her back, otherwise unmoved.
When she wasn't there I searched all of her favorite sleeping spots and then searched them again, calling out her name! My heart began to race as panic set in and the thought of "Oh my God! Where are you!?!". I went to two neighbor's homes that she particularly liked to visit when out on walks, asking if she was there. When each neighbor saw the panic in my face and in my voice, they voluntarily and immediately joined in my search - this touched my heart! They went about the area looking for her and calling out her name, as I did the same. I then got into my car and drove around, with my car windows rolled down and calling out her name, repeatedly. I began to cry, which quickly turned into bawling like a baby as I drove all over and into neighborhoods I had never driven - calling out for my little girl!
The fear and tears didn't let up as I eventually returned home, to find my two wonderful neighbors still searching.
I felt detached, in an unreal state, as I searched my home again, thinking (irrationally) that maybe she was hiding(she never hid from mommy).
I called my mother asking her what I should do. Still bawling my heart out, I drove to the local animal shelter and looked into all the cages and filled out a lost dog report. Knowing it was only a couple of hours since she went missing and would probably not be there, I had to go anyway.
I posted a Lost Dog Flyer in the lobby of my complex and remained in disbelief throughout the night. I went online and found as many places as possible to post a lost dog ad/ report. And, the tears kept flowing (her 'dinner time' came and went and she was not home) - exhausted, I found sleep.
My eyes puffy and still in a state of shock, my mother and grandmother came and helped me drive around posting Lost Dog Fliers around the neighborhood. Sympathetic to my loss, my family was amazing in their care and concern - we had always had a dog in the home and knew the heartbreak over losing a dog to accident, health, etc. (I had never experienced such grief over my very own dog) We went to lunch after posting fliers, but eating was not that interesting to me, and I ended up taking my meal home in a to-go box.
In my struggle to deal with what had happened, my thoughts ranged from:
-Surprise at my incredibly strong reaction
-Being mad at myself for going to work on Saturday, even though it was only a couple of hours
-Swearing to never go to work again (it was 'works' fault)
-Telling myself it's just a dog
-Telling myself it doesn't matter
-I hope she's safe and warm (it had been raining)
-Dear God, please bring her home
...and so many more thoughts that didn't help, didn't make sense or were examples of ways my mind was trying to be 'ok' with what I was experiencing.
Day 2
Sunday, I immersed myself in computer games to numb my mind and pain. Tears falling down my cheeks and being very tired, it was a difficult day.
Day 3
Phoned the local newspaper and placed a Lost ad (annoyed that they charged for the ad, it had to be placed!)
Went to work that afternoon, with a heavy heart. When I saw my supervisor I told her not to 'look' at me... ignoring my request and asking what was wrong, I broke into tears.
That night, I braced myself for coming home to an empty house. It was very sad.
Day 4
I received an email stating that my dog had been found and the individual had been returning to his home in Europe. He had taken the dog back with him on the flight, he didn't want a reward just to return the dog to her owner. My heart stopped when I read the first line and anger grew as I finished reading the email - my instincts told me this was not genuine. I saved email but did not respond.
Late morning my phone rang, a man's voice said he had found my dog. My heart jumped, then caution took hold as I listened. He had seen one of my fliers in the neighborhood, his wife had found her earlier that morning. I called a neighbor to accompany me (for safety) and drove immediately over to the address.
It was my baby! Joy and disbelief, along with tears accompanied us home. My neighbor had tears in his eyes too! One of my other neighbors, not involved in the search came out and stated her relief at my finding my little girl and had tears in her eyes, as she expressed her concern over how would I ever recover from this, knowing how devastated I had been.
Amazing and still in shock - I will be getting my dog implanted with a chip! I always told myself she didn't need it, because she is a housedog and would never get out.
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Contributor's Note
My dog is home!
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This intel first appeared on: http://www.squidoo.com/houndsville
